Hey! It's my Anniversary!

My cable company sent me a card yesterday.  I know what you're thinking - by "card" I meant "bill."  Nope, this was an actual card.  It was a Thank-you card, thanking me for one year of service to them as their customer.  I have been living here in this duplex, in this city, in this state, for a whole year.  This has not happened in 6 years. 

Contentment flooded my veins as I held the card in my hands.  I stared at it a moment, trying to grasp the feelings I was having.  In many ways I felt like dancing.  In other ways I felt like crying.  Mostly, I wanted to yell down the street, "Hey everbody!  It's my anniversary!  Come celebrate with me!"

My celebratory state soon wound down and I entered a period of deep thought.  It's been a year.  In that year I moved 2,000 miles from the place I called "home."  I left my entire family for my new family.  I made new friends and neighbors.  I've been away and back a few times.  Along with working like crazy, I've had time to recreate in all sorts of areas.  I stayed warm in winter and cool in summer.  I tried my hand at landscaping, gardening, cooking, cleaning (which I hate, by the way), budgeting (which I hate slightly less than cleaning), and blogging (which I love).  I spent way too much time on Facebook and not nearly enough time in face-to-face conversation, but in all it's been a successful year.

A successful year... or has it been?  Suddenly, without warning, a "New Year's Resolution" virus invades my brain as I realize how many things I haven't finished.  You wanted to get a dog.  You wanted to start rock climbing.  You were going to get a new bike.  You were going to lose 15 pounds.  A head board would be nice and those pictures in the extra bedroom are STILL in boxes.  You still live on mac-n-cheese, spaghetti, and pizza.  Your piano gets dustier with everyday you don't play.  You had friends over...maybe twice?  And your...STOP!  I scream, inside my head, before this gets completely out of control.

I take a deep breath and in a few seconds life is good again.  It's surprising to think how damaging only a few negative thoughts can be on a person's ego.  I go back to focusing on the bright side. Turns out, all of the things I was planning to do with this year, in this house, on this block, in this city, were set aside by more valuable things.  Things like, connecting with parents and students.  Spending time with family and friends.  Learning the culture of my surroundings.  Learning about me.  Taking in sunsets or the crunching of snow beneath my feet.  Reading more.  Listening more.  Giving God more.  Timeless things.   Priceless things.   Memories which will never be rewritten. That's how I spent my year here.

Today, on my anniversary, I celebrate one year of joy.   One year, I spent checking things off a list I didn't know was mine.  A list I clearly didn't write.  It's because of that list I refuse to make resolutions for the upcoming year.  The pre-written list is better anyway.  Last year, was proof.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

raindrops on roses

My backyard's been rather dry lately.  By "rather dry" I mean brittle.  By "brittle" I mean walking on what should be soft, lush, green grass is like walking on a field of prickly, pointy, poky needles.  Tonight I gave the lawn an extra drink of water, thinking it would soften up the deathly glare.  Ten minutes later it began to downpour.  Ironic?  Perhaps. 

The impeccable timing of the rain tonight got me thinking...what was the rush?  Why did I choose to run a sprinkler on a lawn which was ready for a good dousing when the sky was giving hints possible rain?  In the same way, how often have I jumped to conclusions in a tough situation?  How frequent is my "need for speed" when it comes to getting chores and other errands done?  How many millions of times have I disregarded God's timing and regarded my own as a "better" bet?  What is so hard about slowing down?

All these questions make me wonder an even bigger question, what is it about our lives today, that make it so necessary to HURRY!?  Parents enroll toddlers in Kindergarten.  Teens look for the next short-cut to college.  Adults search for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet.  Lovers leap into marraige like it's a fair ride.  It's as if we all have a time-bomb inside of us just waiting to go off and we're done for if we don't Hurry It Up Sally.

I'm guilty of this in my own life.  I'd say impatience with myself is the biggest fault within me.  I have never been very good at relaxing in my own station of life.  Enjoying each day as it comes has been no talent of mine.  To some of you, on the outside, you don't see it.  But it's there inside of me.  Always looking for the next great thing to happen; many times trying to beat it to the finish line.  Seems to me, as soon as I set out the sprinkler...God sends the rain and I wonder why I worried in the first place.

So Void, next time your lawn is prickly, remember, a shower is probably on its way.  Try to hold off your power to water and see what God has in mind.  He could be sending you a downpour...or a monsoon...or a flood.

in as few words as possible...

Internet browsing with StumbleUpon.com is a recent"addiction" I'm adding to an embarassing collection.  I'd say I could store it in my addiction bank along with coffee, Facebook, shopping for a dog, and organizing things (also recent).  It's become a habit of mine to Stumble before I hit the pillow every night.  StumbleUpon has led me to places online I never knew I had an interest in before:  art, music videos, crafts, and a lot of useless, mindless, but interesting information.  Tonight as I was Stumbling, I caught myself falling into a trap which kept me occupied for the next 45 minutes.  

One Sentence is a place for people to publish true stories in a sentence.  Funny stories, sad stories, horror stories, or love stories, in just one sentence.  What a fantastic idea.  As I read, I couldn't help but think of my own stories.  How could they be summed up in a sentence?  Try it.  It's a good challenge.  Afterward you'll find what you've written to be quite excellent writing.  At lease to you it will be.  Ryan, creator of the site, will have the final say.  Because the site is not a free-for-all, much like Facebook, Twitter, or even this blog, each submission needs to be approved before publishing.  As far as good ideas go, this guy sure had one.  Congrats man, you have unveiled to the virtual world, the power of being brief.  Grandpa was right when he said, "Keep it simple, stupid."

Charge!

Every morning I roll out of bed with the same goal in mind.  It doesn't matter if I roll out at 6AM or noon, the same routine ensues.  I squint and fumble for my glasses, shuffle into the kitchen, prep the coffee maker, head to the toity, brush my teeth and smile as the inviting aroma wafts into my nostrils.  I pour myself a cup and curl up into my huge, over-stuffed chair, draw the curtains, and take in the morning (or afternoon) moment.  After, and only after, do I feel I can face the day.  A daily charge, perhaps?  I think so.

Coffee, I'm not ashamed to admit, has become my morning charge.  Even on warm summer days a cup of coffee brings me comfort before the start of a new day.  But, the coffee charge was not created to last 14-16 hours.  Unfortunately, throughout my day I turn to other, less comforting, but just as effective forms of recharge.  Mid-morning I reach for that ever-so-tempting protein bar.  Lunch I'm all over the apple salad with green tea.  In the afternoon I'm lucky to catch a quick walk or stretch.  By evening, I'm in desperate need of some carbs topped with something tomatoey.  Before I know it, the day is done and I'm ready for the biggest re-charge of all, hitting the pillow for 6-8 hours before doing it all over again.

All daily life really is, is recharge after recharge.  Gathering energy to turn into something useful.  I'd compare our bodies to a toy car running on battery.  Sometimes, my battery gets so low, the daily recharge doesn't seem to do the trick.  As if something outside myself is sucking the energy out of me so quickly a million cups of coffee or apple salads couldn't fix it.  That's when I know I need a super-charge.  My super-charge usually includes lacing up the hiking boots and capturing the world at 10,000 feet.  Other charges include: finding a good book, hearing inspiring words, beginning a creative project, hosting a dinner, taking a second to think, or striking up a conversation with a stranger in the grocery store.  Sometimes it's purchasing a plane ticket or taking a long drive.  Once in a great while, the only super-charge I have enough stored energy for is a good curl up in bed and sleep forever.

The super-charge is powerful.  No doubt a super-charge every other week would keep me going day-to-day.  But, if I'm totally honest with you, Void, (which I try very hard to be) super-charges aren't quite enough.  When the weight is so heavy and so burdensome there is only one charge which can remove it.  The Ultimate Recharge.  The Ultimate Recharge comes from opening my Bible and finding comfort in the words, "I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and give you a future."  Or, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."  And better yet, "I have summoned you, and called you by name; you are mine."  His words, Jesus' words, my Father's words.  Can it get more electrifying?  The Ultimate Recharge is "The Way and The Truth and The Life."

Only after an Ultimate Recharge, may my normality return.  Life is good again.  Whatever weight which was extracting my energy ceases.  My body is free to turn energy into productivity.  My mind is free to make sense of the world.  My soul is calm, collected, and uncharacteristically quiet.  The Ultimate Recharge is what makes the everyday life worth living because in the end I know I'm going to a place where I won't need a daily charge.  In the end, I'll be in a place where energy never runs out and hyper charge is normal.  In the end, I'll have eternal batteries.  That, Void, is good news.

written

a writer is a writer when he knows exactly what to say,
about the weather, or the movie, or the events of the day.

a writer is a writer when he can call you out by name,
unveil emotions from deep inside you and show you his the same.

a writer is a writer when he causes ink to come to life,
bringing breath to imagination, sinking in like a knife.

a writer is a writer when he frightens you to pieces,
sleep - unacceptable when you're succeptible to his devices.

a writer is a writer when his writing makes sense,
even with errors of spelling, comma, or tense.

a writer can rhyme,
a writer could chime,
a writer may never make more than a dime.

a writer I am, a writer you are.
there's nothing else to it, don't dig in too far.

a writer is a writer when he dares to admit,
his writing is just a simple outlet,
for all of the words built up inside,
dying to escape from the jail of his hide.

tonight this writer is writing,
only to write, no other reason, just writing...
and writing...
and writing.

Clutter-brained

The scene is a psychologist's office.  The young female doctor sits patiently taking notes, as I, the patient, recall to her the facts.  Scene ensues:

Me:  Like I said before Doctor, the Restlessness began on Wednesday, in the bedroom.  After a desperate attempt to rearrange the mangled members of an over-stuffed closet space, I realized my short shopping trips over a year had mutated into a massive monstrous problem.  "Where have all the hangers gone?"  I thought to myself, in a frustrated tone.  Frantically I began my purge.  A ripped pair of jeans here, an old tee shirt three sizes too big, there, those nasty flats which hadn't been worn in 8 months...before I knew it three hours had passed and I was 40 hangers richer.  Let's not even think about how rich the numerous Goodwill customers would be after hitting the jackpot with my recent donation.

DR:  Interesting.  Tell me, what happened next?
Me:  The closet explosion led to a short recuperation from my cluttered state.  Two minutes later, I made my way into the extra bedroom and began work on the extra closet.  How many paperweights does a person really need?  Let's be honest with ourselves.  By the end of the evening I had sorted and stacked, tossed and packed, for 6 hours through two closets.  Finding treasures and recalling memories all along the way.  Declutter is a perfect fix to any Restlessness making residence in one's mind and body.  Wednesday was a productive day.

Dr:  And did you feel better after that?  I mean, did the Restlessness go away?
Me:  No.  Much to my dismay, I woke up Thursday and the feeling was still there.  What else was there to declutterize?  Plenty, I thought.  I made my way to my classroom.  In the blink of an eye the cupboards had flown open, posters, projects, and paints erupted onto the floor.  My raid began.  8 hours later, I was half-way finished.  Feeling on a roll, I showed up Friday morning with the same goal in mind.  Friday came and went, decluttering turned into rearranging.  Needless to say, the process is still influx.  About 3/4 of the job completed I see the result of my Monday will be a satisfied sigh of relief.  Yet, I don't feel Restlessness leaving anytime soon.  What can I do?

DR:  I think you're doing well.  Keep doing what your doing.
Me:  Keep decluttering?

DR:  Yes.  Let's make a list. 
Projects to complete before the summer is through:
1.  Classroom (it will take at least two more days)
2.  Kitchen cabinets
3.  Basement storage
4.  Yard (front and back)
5.  E-mail accounts
6.  Facebook friends (it's true...my apologies in advance)
7.  Cell contacts
8.  Jewelry
9.  Desk
10. Trunk
11. Hopefully you won't need a number 11.

Me:  Do you really think this will work?
DR:  Perhaps with each project the gigantic weight of unease will become less and less, until finally you are so exhausted it will disappear all together.  In the event of complete and utter relapse, I may suggest you start at the top of the list and try again to repress the Restlessness which takes over your very cluttered brain.

Me:  (Sigh)  Thank-you Doctor, you have been very helpful. 

Taking my list, I leave the office feeling light as a feather and direct as an arrow.  I have a lot of work to do!