Currently I sit at a table, in my dining room, in our house, in a city, in the state of California, in the country of the United States, on the continent of North America, in the Northern and Western Hemispheres, on the planet Earth, in the galaxy of the Milky Way, all part of this vast space we call The Universe. Depending how you look at it, I'm physically in 1 or a dozen places at once.
Mentally I am elsewhere. Mentally I am in a dozen places at once. My mind is a maze of wonderings. Now that we're here, what's next? What is my role as a supportive wife/friend/neighbor? Where do I fit into this giant scheme of a thing we like to call life? So much has changed in 6 weeks - where is my place? How does a person cook a good meal with out messing something up? Does anyone really find true joy in housework? How can I make this easier?
Before I get too worked up, I think to myself - Stop. I need a mental break. Perhaps that's what I've been doing wrong these last few weeks. I've been searching so hard to find a spot I fit in, I haven't taken the time I need with you. I haven't taken time to enjoy something I love. Something I'm good at. Something which gives me a voice outside of what goes on in this little house. I think it's something every human needs, young or old, working or not, man or woman, married or single - everyone likes to be good at something. I am good at this. I am good at putting thoughts onto screen. I'm sorry I've been away so long. I'm on my way back to you, Void, just be patient with me.
My place? I'm not sure just yet...but for now, for this moment in time, my place is here, writing to you...and I like it.
Katie,
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. You to are a stranger in a strange land. The only difference is you have a pool! I am still struggling to feel comfortable here. It's hard when your heart is in another state as well as friends and family and all things familiar. Something tells me you will adjust faster than I will. Youth helps. Plus you have the ability to go off and do things and see places whenever you want. 3 kids, school, a puppy and a future job make it very hard for me. There is an entire state I want to see and I feel I never will. I was wondering when you would write again. Glad you found time.